I have been thinking a lot about mistakes lately. I make them, you make them, we all make mistakes. Most of the time mistakes are silly and unintentional, simply the result of not focusing on the task at hand (like going into the men’s room at Panera because you aren’t paying attention to what you’re doing). The mistakes that have been circling the drain of my consciousness have been the mistakes made through willful disobedience. There have been times where I have made choices based solely on my own desires, without regard for consequence or godly obedience. I’m not talking about the traditional good-church-girl taboos, I am talking about putting my desires above the needs of others. I am talking about choosing to serve myself and not those around me. These are mistakes that have led me to speak hurtful things to loved ones or be careless with someone else’s pain in an effort to get my own way. Selfishness leads to all sorts of disastrously elegant tangles that require nothing less than the mighty hand of God for extrication!

In the midst of my mistake centered pondering I was reading Lamentations (you know, the party book of the Old Testament) and I came across one of my favorite passages. I always forget that it’s in Lamentations because it inspires such hope and, let’s face it, a book with the word Lament in the title doesn’t seem to be the instinctual place to go when you’re looking for hope or a little cheering up. I love so many things about this passage. It comes after a diatribe about afflictions and sufferings with phrases like “though I call and cry for help, he shuts out my prayer” or “my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is”. There are some very intense tribulations going on. There is discouragement,dismay and disillusionment and then there is verse 22:

Lamentations 3:22-24

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul “therefore I will hope in him.”

When I read this verse I usually focus on the fact that God’s love is steadfast and never-ceasing. I get inspired by the depth of his faithfulness and mercies that never end. I know that I’ve talked about new morning mercies with loads of people at one time or another but for some reason what struck me this time was that the mercies are new EVERY morning. It doesn’t just say that God’s mercy is never-ending or perpetual or always available. It says that his mercies are new.

I should probably interject here that I love reading the dictionary. I love etymology (the study of origins of words – not entomology which is the study of insects, although I’m sure that the study of insects has produced some fascinating, colorful language). I pulled up my old favorite, Noah Webster’s 1828, and looked up a few of the descriptors in this passage. New has some terrific definitions; “lately made, invented, produced or come into being; renovated, repaired so as to recover the first state; fresh after any event” etc. but my favorite was this one, “not before used”. Next on my plate was Every. Noah only has one definition for every; “Each individual of a whole collection or aggregate number. The word includes the whole number, but each separately stated or considered”. When talking about mornings, the word every, in this verse, includes all mornings collectively and each morning individually. All mornings to ever exist are included in this every. Now for the main event, Mercy. Here is what dear Noah has to say about mercy and his definition is so beautiful that I can make no addition; “That benevolence, mildness or tenderness of heart which disposes a person to overlook injuries, or to treat an offender better than he deserves; the disposition that tempers justice, and induces an injured person to forgive trespasses and injuries, and to forbear punishment, or inflict less than law or justice will warrant. In this sense, there is perhaps no word in our language precisely synonymous with mercy That which comes nearest to it is grace. It implies benevolence, tenderness, mildness, pity or compassion, and clemency, but exercised only towards offenders. mercy is a distinguishing attribute of the Supreme Being.”

I was struck again by the magnificence of this hope. Each morning, every morning, God provides benevolence, tenderness, mildness, pity or compassion and clemency (to forgive or to spare, tenderness in punishing, disposition to treat with favor and kindness) to me, the offender. Why? Because He knows me! The God of the universe knows me. He knows that I’m just as likely to be mean-spirited as I am to wander into the wrong restroom. He knows that I struggle with selfish motivation on every day that has a morning. He knows that I juggle potential mistakes like a circus pro. He gets me and, because my loving, Heavenly Father gets me, He made a way for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other when the cold hand of reality slaps me with the gravity of my mistakes. He gives new mercies every day because He knows me. Don’t get me wrong, the presence of mercy is not license to make mistakes willy-nilly. In fact, the presence of new mercy every day is evidence of such incredible, compassionate love that it should inspire the desire to be proven worthy of such benevolence. That is where the hope comes from. I have hope that each day, when given the opportunity, I will choose others over self, I will recognize the value of mercy and, through God’s great faithfulness, I will honor the mercy of the day with obedience and love. (Although you might still find me in the wrong restroom someday, blushing wildly and scrambling for the door.)

So, I started a blog and thought to myself, “this will be fun, I can share my thoughts and maybe they will bless someone.” I was rather surprised to discover a mounting pressure that began to well up in the back of my mind. Suddenly there was an entity that I had committed to and it caused a flurry of questions to surface; “what if I don’t have anything to say?”, “what if I say too much?”, “what if I, unintentionally, hurt someone?”, “what if no ones reads this?”, “what if someone reads this?”, amongst other foolish internal queries. This ramble of thoughts by no means absorbed my day, they were just a few fleeting impulses that crossed the landscape of my mind but I gave them credence. Silliness, I’ll admit, but pressure inducing silliness. How often do I allow such silly, inconsequential things to have power over me? How many precious moments have I wasted in giving up when I should have just taken a breath to remember the goodness of God? Anxiety isn’t a force in and of itself. It is a relinquishing, not a vanquishment. To relinquish is to voluntarily cease to keep or claim, to give up. I find it a little humiliating how I quickly capitulate to this toothless enemy and lose the comfort of a soul at rest. I have discovered that I tend to be more anxious about little things than I am about big things. I think that I tend to push God into the position of only being concerned about the “big picture” items and that I am on my own with the day-to-day concerns. Every day is full of opportunities to remember that God is endlessly faithful. He is faithful in every aspect of my life, big or small. I will probably relinquish my peace tomorrow, several times if I know myself at all. I will also remember that there is a God who loves me with an everlasting love. He has told me, over and over in His word to fear not and I’m going to trust Him. So, I started a blog and people may read it or not, I might say too much or not enough, I might accidentally hurt someone but I’m not going to fret about it. This will be fun, I can share my thoughts and maybe they will bless someone.