I saw this cheeky statement while scrolling through Instagram today and it resonated deeply with me. I have spent a lot of time thinking about body image. There are myriad voices talking about this topic right now and I was hesitant to add to the noise but here I go, noise be hanged.

I come from a long line of strong, courageous, godly woman on both sides of my family tree. These women raised families and served their communities with love, compassion and wisdom. Many of these remarkable woman were built like me. For those of you who don’t know me I’m either morbidly obese or gloriously curvy depending on who you ask. If you ask me I’ll tell you the truth; most days I’m comfortable in my own skin even though I sometimes wish there was less skin to be comfortable in. Occasionally I have days where I feel like some sort of hippo-whale-elephant hybrid who’s comfortable skin is going to take over the world. I have learned that even on my hippalephant days I can be kind to myself and appreciate the beauty in this body. It has taken me a loooooooooong time to come to this place but I’m proud to be here. As I look back at the times in which my grandmothers, great-grandmothers and great-great-grandmothers lived I find myself wondering how did they fight these battles.

As soon as the first of my three brothers was born the innate knowledge that no one can pick on my brothers but me came alive in my psyche. I think anyone who has a sibling knows this song and dance. Your sibling can drive you absolutely crazy and you can be merciless to them but if someone outside your family circle throws the barbs you immediately rise to the defense of your great familial annoyance as though they are the most precious individual the world has ever produced. I had a very similar relationship with my body. I could wander around feeling as though I would never possibly measure up to some nebulous impossible standard and berate myself for not being the picture of perfection but if someone else pointed out a perceived flaw or made a suggestion about physical change I would become defiantly protective of my self-image despite the fact that what someone else said could never match the ferocity of my inner hatred. I was a personal bully of the worst sort, not a motivator or champion but an outright bully. Was I alone in this self-absorbed discontent? Unfortunately, no. I grew up with a beautiful mother who never seemed to believe my dad when he complimented her beauty. To this day she’s quick to hear the criticism in every compliment and is the first one to point out her flaws. In addition to her sparkling eyes, gorgeous dark hair (that still hasn’t been touched by gray) and the softest hands in the world she’s fiercely committed to her family, passionate to serve God with her whole heart and a staunch defender of the hurting and downtrodden. I have a dear friend, one of my favorite people on the planet, who somehow finds a way to insert his disappointment with his appearance into every conversation. In addition to his strong, masculine features and eyelashes most women would kill for, he is one of the most courageous people I know, full of integrity and wisdom. I have another friend who is, unquestionably, one of the most physically beautiful people I’ve ever seen. Whenever we’re together she mentions her fears about gaining weight (she’s been a size 0 since I first met her). She’s also one of the kindest, sweetest, most caring people I’ve ever come across. It makes me wonder “If these amazing, incredible people can’t be comfortable in their phenomenal skin is it possible to be comfortable in mine?”. The answer is a resounding…YES!!!

I have come to the conclusion that my body image has to be based on something much greater than my own confidence, which ebbs and flows. Whenever I need to find something greater I always start with the Word of God. You might be surprised at how much the Bible has to say about our bodies! One of my all-time favorite verses is Psalm 139:14 “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” I love those words fearfully and wonderfully. In the original Hebrew fearfully means “with great reverence, heart-to-heart interest and with respect” while wonderfully means “unique, set apart, marvelous”. I don’t think we often use these words when we think about ourselves but could you imagine if every day began with the reminder that we were crafted with great reverence and respect to be unique and marvelous. I think we’d start each day with a bit more confidence, a pinch more spring in each step and more hope for the future. So what were we so magnificently made for? 1 Corinthians 6:19 answers this question with its own question, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” What a humbling thought, that God so values us that He wants our bodies to be His holy place! These bodies that we fret over and complain about are treasured by the One who made us, fearfully and wonderfully. The verse goes on to say to that we are not our own. It says in verse 20 that we were bought with a price and are therefore to honor God with our bodies. This is an encouragement to care for ourselves, to not allow our bodies to become involved in anything that doesn’t reflect or glorify God. The reality is that these verses show how much our bodies are valued by God. He so honors our frail, faulty human bodies that He chooses to make His home in them. This thought is so beautifully brought to light in the first part of 2 Corinthians 4:7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay”. A home for infinitely precious treasure; my body is a home for treasure and I despised it. What abject arrogance!

Here we come to a point of great debate. What sort of shape should the temple of God be in? Should it be able to dead lift massive quantities of weight? Should it be supermodel slim? Should it be chiseled and 6 pack laden? What if your temple has a disability? What if you’re chronically ill? Does that disqualify you in some way? I’m going to ignore all of these questions at the moment because I’m more concerned with self-image. I will say one thing and this is solely my opinion (and like my dad always said “opinions are like armpits, everyone has a couple and they all stink”) so take it as you will. I don’t think there’s a specific outline for how you care for your physical temple. I believe that doing your best to maintain your health and not intentionally doing things to harm yourself or choosing destructive habits is the root of temple care. If that’s working out and staying trim, being gloriously curvy with great blood work or keeping your hope and optimism in a body that is fighting a battle, that’s between you and the One who made you, fearfully and wonderfully.

I can be so catty sometimes. I can judge people harshly based on a passing glance. I can write someone off without ever having a conversation with them because I forget that they are full of potential. They are living breathing jars of clay just waiting for someone to take the time to discover the treasure within. I have heard people say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels or nothing tastes as good as healthy feels but I think that no amount of skinny or even healthy is as good as kindness to ourselves and others. Could you imagine if all of our interactions with others came from a recognition of their sacred, holy destiny? What if we each learned how to be comfortable in our own skin and to love others in the skin they’re in? What if my mom and the friends that I mentioned realized how absolutely amazing they are and walked in the confidence of being marvelous. I hope someday future generations of my family will think about me, the way I think about the women who came before me, and they’ll tell stories about how I always made them feel special, and taught them to look at everyone with kindness. I hope that when they look at themselves they can confidently say that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. A temple, fearfully and wonderfully made…that’s my body image!