I haven’t written in a long time…that’s not quite true, I haven’t posted in a long time. I’ve written quite a lot but not things that I want to share with the world. I haven’t posted on social media in a long time (although I spend way too much time on Instagram) and there are a whole host of reasons for that but today I wanted to share my thoughts with whoever might be brought to this small corner of the internet.

When I first bought my house, 11 years ago, there was a beautiful, lush Japanese Maple tree in my backyard. My oldest niece, who was 4 at the time, was looking at the house with me prior to my purchase of the property and she announced “this will be my climbing tree and I will always climb it here”. She did climb that tree, as did her siblings and cousins. We put a sandbox at the base of the tree because it was well-shaded, easily viewed from the kitchen window and provided a safe place for the kids to play.

One spring a large portion of the tree didn’t develop any leaves. I was so sad that the tree would lose a large limb but I thought “it will still be beautiful”. The following spring most of the tree showed no signs of life. My arborist told me that it was a lost cause and that there were dozens of reasons that it suddenly died. I didn’t have the heart to cut it down. I decided to leave it alone for a while and think about what I was going to do about the tree. There was no life left in the limbs so it wasn’t safe for climbing anymore. The sandbox was moved to a different part of the yard where there was shade to be found, but it was far from the house and hard to spot from the kitchen window. It meant changes to the routine of being outside. I mourned the end of tree climbing adventures for my nieces and nephews. I thought about how long it would take for another tree to become as lovely. I felt like a little piece of me shriveled up with the tree. It was such an important emotional part of what made my home feel like home.

I finally decided that, at the very least, I needed to trim back most of the dead branches. My brother spent a Saturday helping to trim limb after limb that had once been full of vibrant burgundy but were now empty, barren. I left the weirdly, twisted skeleton in my yard and all winter my family asked me what I was going to do with it.

Spring came again, as it so often does, and with it a plan. I decided to plant wisteria and trumpet vine at the base of my dead tree. They need a framework to start growing on and the old tree became a natural trellis. It took a few years for my vision to spring to life but slowly, tendrils and wisps of green began to wind their way around the old dead limbs. We hung bird feeders from the places where my nieces and nephews used to dangle from the tree. What was once a glorious living thing became alive once again. It is a vastly different sort of life than what it once had but there’s something magical about the tree that it never had before. The wisteria blooms in early summer and the purple blooms hang like clusters of grapes filling the air with perfume. As the days grow longer and warmer, just as the wisteria blossoms begin to fade, the trumpet vine begins to display its showy coral trumpets. The tree buzzes with the sound of bees and hummingbirds. Every day is a spectacular display of bunnies, bluebirds, and finches.

In winter, we continue to feed the birds so even on the grayest of days, the tree is filled with color. Winter birds, like cardinals and blue jays, perch on the old gnarled limbs and bring a splash of cheer to the view from the kitchen window. There are squirrels and chipmunks and wise, old ravens who frequent the tree. The mourning doves always come just before sunset and coo to bid the day farewell.

I never saw so many little friends when the tree was full of its own beauty. It wasn’t until it had to make room for another kind of glory that I began to see all the creatures who frequent my old, dead tree. To put it another way, it wasn’t until it died that it could enter a new season of life.

When we talk about new seasons we tend to think of exciting new adventures. We picture fresh and green, beginnings and opportunities. We don’t often realize that some new seasons begin with a death. Some new seasons begin with dormancy. Some new seasons begin looking totally unfamiliar, leaving us unlike who we thought we were. Some new seasons tear us limb from limb, refashioning us into a different sort of life. New seasons can be slow in coming. They can take years and years to begin to unfold their colors.

I was talking to an incredible friend at church this past Sunday. She was about to celebrate her 90th birthday. She was telling me with great excitement about the Bible study that she’s been hosting for women in her community. They gather weekly for several hours to talk about Jesus. This little group is flourishing and vibrant. My friend’s eyes were sparkling as she was telling about her group of ladies, most new believers, and how God has been using them to teach her as much as she’s teaching them. When I told her how excited I was for her she answered “all this is happening because I finally learned to yield to God, and it only took me ninety years.” I remember a similar conversation with the same friend nearly 20 years ago when she’d been removed from leadership of a small group without notice in a very unjust fashion. It had caused her a great deal of heartache but she forgave and continued to pursue God, even though her limbs had been cut. Here she is seeing a harvest, in an unexpected way, from an avenue or branch that she thought was dead. Isn’t it just like God to revive our dreams in a way that is more than what we could imagine? More beautiful, more fulfilling, more inspirational, more joyful, more…well to put it simply, just more!

What dreams have become dead in your life? What season has ended in death? Are you feeling the emptiness of a dormant season? Take another look. What sort of framework is God preparing inside all the dead limbs of your vision? What sort of storehouse of life giving “sap” is He building in your dormant days? What reserves of “more” is He preparing for you? What sort of tendrils and wisps are beginning to swirl and twirl around the pieces of your soul that have long been barren?

We get excited when we hear verses like Isaiah 40:4 where it talks about “every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill brought low; the crooked places shall be made straight, and the rough places smooth”. We shout and say things like “won’t He do it” and while the answer is a resounding “YES!” We don’t often consider that leveling mountains and turning rough places into plains can be laborious processes with long stretches of what seems like barrenness and death. Can God do instant works? Absolutely! Does He always work instantaneously? In my experience thus far…no, He doesn’t always work instantaneously. I have noticed that He works patiently, over many years, moving us from one season to the next. With great care and gentle hands, lest the clay crack, He molds us.

If you are floundering and feel like you’re in a season where you are a dead tree I have a few final thoughts for you:

1. You are not alone! I’m available to commiserate, just drop me a line and we can talk about barren seasons.
2. Take a look around and take stock of the things you know God is doing in your vicinity. You might not realize that He’s been pruning you to be the framework of something spectacular.
3. Tell Him your deepest thoughts about the season you’re in! He hasn’t forgotten your dreams but He might be refining them. He hasn’t been ignoring your emptiness, He’s been preparing to fill it. He is big enough to handle your frustrations and anger. He’s not embarrassed by your anguish and He’s not ashamed of your doubts.
4. As my sweet nonagenarian friend said, yield to God. Once you’ve poured your heart out with all your wounds laid bare and told Him all the things you have buried in your deepest soul, listen! Listen to His plans for you. Start with the Bible. Listen to what He’s planted for you there. Get back to basics. Stop trying to find the specific verse that applies to your current life circumstance and makes you feel goosebumps for a moment, and focus on getting to know Jesus! Let getting to know Jesus be the core activity of your day. Seek Him and you will find Him! In the process you will discover that He’s been beautifying your dark season with light, wonder, and glory that can only come through rebirth. He’s been preparing new fruit that could only come after a severe pruning. He’s been making something completely new out of what you once were. Hallelujah!